Another Cycle
by Devlinn Reiko
Summary: Oneshot [GaiKaka] Another moment between Eternal Rivals. Kakashi's losing himself again and Gai steps in to bring him back.


Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.

**Title: **Another Cycle**  
Author: **devlinnreiko**  
Genre: **angst/romance**  
Rating: **PG13**  
Warnings: **slight fighting  
**Spoilers: **none

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People never knew how he came to his ritual of standing and talking to the people on the Memorial Monument. They didn't know why he would come in the morning only to hold onto the pain throughout the day. Frankly Kakashi didn't know either. Some part of his mind thought it was so he knew he was alive during the day or had motivation to do his job. Whatever it was it didn't stop him from standing here as he always does. Kakashi's eye stared at the names engraved on it. He knew a whole column was his own family's fault. He tried to avoid becoming trapped in staring at their names instead letting three specific names do the job.

The sun had begun to peak over the trees by now. He didn't know what time it was or how long he had been standing there, but he knew he wasn't done yet. He was aware of someone else appearing in the clearing. Kakashi didn't bother to glance back either, but he knew who it was.

"How long have you been here?" The question came. Kakashi shrugged. He sensed Gai moving forward to stand beside him, looking at the stone as well.

"I don't know." Kakashi replied. Gai glanced over at his rival's face seeing the far off look in the one eye. Moving his eyes over to the stone again, his eyes focused on a certain name on the stone. It had been a long time since he had seen that person.

"You know my father was on that mission." Gai said slightly reminiscing. Kakashi glanced over in surprise at Gai. He quickly turned his head back to the stone, his eyes scrolling down, spotting the name. He stood silently trying to comprehend how he had missed it in the past 20 years. His mind snapped back to reality as Gai continued to speak.

"I remember the day the news came. My mother didn't stop crying for days. Many people thought that she might die of sorrow, especially in the prime of her youth. I saw your father that day too. You look like him…his eyes held regret and guilt but I didn't want to see that at first. I remember wanting to become strong and beating him to show that his type of genius only killed people." Gai said with remorse in a tone that was not part of him.

Kakashi's eye focused on the ground not being able to look at the man next to him. His body stiffened at Gai's final sentence. He was that type of genius….people died because of him. It wasn't just fate, it was in his blood. He couldn't find his voice or the power to move and run from Gai. Gai still didn't let go. He wasn't finished.

"I thought that would be the best but then everyone started to focus on you. I remember how your father stopped doing everything that made him a shinobi. I thought that I could beat you then. You were a genius like him. I figured if I could beat you I could stop the death but then your father died." Gai said slowly knowing that he had hit Kakashi with an emotional and mental punch. Gai glanced and noticed the hard look in Kakashi's eye. He hated to see that look.

"I challenged you to our first challenge. Do you remember? I remember being in the hospital. It wasn't the greatest feeling. I thought that it was a Hatake's mission to defeat people. I trained and tried to fight you again." Kakashi's fist began to shake slightly, the tremors mirroring his anger.

"And it didn't get you very far did it? Your stupid pride and mind got you talking with the Hokage. What the hell are you trying to prove? That you really are a rival and you need to attack me at every moment? Stop it Gai! I think I get the picture. You're better at saving people and a better person. Is that what you want to hear!" Kakashi snapped at Gai getting upset and angry. He turned hastily and tired to walk away but Gai quickly grabbed his arm stopping him. Kakashi quickly pulled his other arm back trying to punch Gai, but Gai grabbed it in his other hand. Kakashi glared and tried to kick out but he was so angry Gai had the upper hand. Gai quickly swiped Kakashi off his feet making him fall to the ground, straddling him and restraining his arms to his side. Kakashi tried to push Gai away but realized Gai wasn't going to give in so easily. Finally he stopped and glared fire at Gai.

"Are you done?" Gai asked not letting go. Kakashi stared at Gai for a moment before turning his head away from Gai.

They stayed that way for a bit neither willing to continue until the other one started. Finally Gai decided to start.

"You're better than that Kakashi. You know that." Gai said, tone changing. Kakashi's head turned slightly to regard Gai.

"You didn't let anyone get to you. Why do you torture yourself trying to relive the past?" Gai asked watching Kakashi try to understand what was happening.

"Why'd you have to ruin my morning? My day was going fine. I was fine." Kakashi said quietly not looking Gai in the eye.

"No you're not. Everyone has noticed. You're turning back into your old self." Gai said trying to get him to listen.

"Maybe I like myself better that way." Kakashi said defensively, though his tone didn't help him much.

"But none of us do." Gai said forcefully. Kakashi turned his head staring Gai warily in the eye. He didn't believe what he was hearing. Who was possibly concerned for him now?

"You're making me so angry with your lack of enthusiasm and pitiful sorrow. How can you be so blind to the people around you? What of your team, your comrades, the Hokage, Jiraiya? Do you really think they're not worried about you?"

"Jiraiya only feels obligated." Kakashi said dully. Gai stared at Kakashi for a moment before giving Kakashi's face a punch causing the silver head to snap back hitting the ground from the force.

"Damn you Kakashi. How can you even think that? You selfish bastard!" Gai growled out, wanting to continue to punch Kakashi.

Kakashi's slowly opened his eye after the impact. His vision still saw white dots and he stopped moving his head trying to get them out of his vision. He focused through a squinted eye trying to see Gai. He could feel the pain starting to surface around the hit area. His head swayed a little which began to make it worse, but Gai grabbed it gently and held his head still, waiting till he regained focus.

Kakashi opened his eye and had better hold this time on his bearings. His eye focused on Gai, not holding much anger anymore only confusion and hurt. Gai sighed at this, most of his anger dissipating.

"Kakashi…please don't think that way. You know how everyone feels. You know the hurt they're feeling. We're trying to help you. Please take that into consideration at least." Gai said looking down at Kakashi, who has once again averted his eye to the Memorial Monument. Gai waited to see if Kakashi would respond before he shifted ready to stand.

"Would you believe if I said I tried to understand?" Kakashi said quietly, stopping Gai from leaving. Gai turned his attention back to his rival. He took a few moments before he answered shaking his head slightly.

"No, Kakashi. I wouldn't. Only because I know you're lying." Gai said. Kakashi sighed and closed his eye.

"I know this because it's been a year since they've gone with the Sannin. You've only accepted one of my challenges. Before, you would meet at least most of them. You're hiding from everyone, taking mission after mission. We hardly see you anymore." Gai said honestly looking down at Kakashi with sorrow in his eyes. Kakashi opened his eye and looked up at Gai.

"I know you're trying to become stronger, but what are you going to do with that strength if you have no one to protect? If you shut yourself away, you'll only have yourself to protect because you didn't think of having people to protect." Gai said. Kakashi stared at Gai realizing the truth of what Gai had said. Gai noticed the change in Kakashi's eye and sat back finally releasing Kakashi and allowing the other to sit up as well.

Kakashi had pushed himself into a sitting position bring a hand up to tenderly touch the area where Gai had punched him. Finding the skin had not broke and would only leave a raccoon looking eye, Kakashi lowered his hand letting it rest in his lap along with the other.

"Do you understand now Kakashi? Even I went through what you did and I found out it didn't work." Gai said. Kakashi stared at his hands for a few moments.

"I think I understand...though I am in debt to you now." Kakashi said carefully. Gai stared at Kakashi for a moment before shaking his head.

"Don't bother I-" Gai was stopped as Kakashi leaned forward pulling his mask down and pressed his lips against Gai's. Gai was surprised by this action. Shaking away the shock Gai reached forward pulling Kakashi forward making Kakashi's reach a little less uncomfortable. He brought up a hand letting it support Kakashi's neck bringing Kakashi closer to him. Kakashi's hands rested on Gai's arms gently gripping them. After a minute they slowly separated. Kakashi looked up at Gai, while Gai looked down.

"That wasn't the debt, but I'll find a way to repay you someday." Kakashi said pulling his mask up and backing away from Gai slowly. Gai stared at Kakashi before a grin came to his face. He closed his eyes shaking his head before standing up and helping Kakashi to stand.

"Hopefully that day won't be so soon." Gai said knowing the extremes Kakashi would go to repay such a simple debt, his life as it might be.

The sound of a hawk screech above caused both jounin to look up. Kakashi sighed looking down. He brought his hands up ready to form the seal to take him to the Hokage's office, pausing for a minute.

"Thank you Gai." Kakashi said.

Gai flashed nice a Nice Guy smile and was about to say something before Kakashi disappeared, leaving Gai standing there. A rustle of leaves to Gai's left made him glance.

"Gai-sensei! I finished the 800 laps!" Lee said happily. Gai turned to fully face Lee. Lee saw his sensei's calm face.

"What's wrong sensei?" Lee questioned. Gai just shook his head.

"Nothing. Youth is still with us." Gai said walking over to Lee. Lee didn't really understand exactly but smiled none the less.

"Of course sensei."

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**I had this is my mind on Friday and couldn't stop writing once I started. Hopefully you enjoyed this.**

**Please Review!**

**DevlinnReiko**


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